When Should an Aging Parent Stop Driving?
So your Mother admits she had another little fender-bender in a parking lot. Or you notice new scuffs on the side of Father’s car, where he scraped a fence or the side of the garage. Could it be time to have that conversation about whether or not they should be driving?
None of us wants to reduce a loved one’s independence as they age. But there may come a time when they really should stop driving – for their own safety, and the protection of others. Financial liability of their personal assets is also a concern.
There are warning signs, such as these from the AARP:
- Almost crashing, or frequent close calls.
- Finding dents or scrapes on the car, or on fences or garage doors.
- Getting lost, even in familiar locations.
- Having trouble following traffic signals, road signs, and pavement markings.
- Responding more slowly to unexpected situations, or having trouble moving their foot from gas to brake pedals, or confusing the two.
- Misjudging gaps in traffic at intersections and on highway entrance and exit ramps.
- Experiencing road rage or causing other drivers to honk or complain.
- Easily becoming distracted or having difficulty concentrating while driving.
- Having a hard time turning around to check the rear view while backing up or changing lanes.
- Receiving multiple traffic tickets or warnings from law enforcement officers.
Ideally, we may share our loving concern with our parents, who will come to their own decision not to drive. We might also alert their doctor, who can have a frank discussion with Mom or Dad about their medical conditions, or possible side effects of medications that may impair driving or judgment. Physicians are required by law (Heath & Safety Code section 103900) to report disorders characterized by lapses of consciousness, as well as Alzheimer’s disease and related disorders. Additionally, they may report any other condition if the doctor believes it would affect the driver’s ability to drive safely.
It is essential to help Seniors avoid feelings of isolation when they stop driving, by finding alternate transportation solutions. Create a support team of family and friends to take your loved one to appointments, shopping and social events. Help them learn (and practice using) a taxi, shuttle service or the local bus system.
You can find some great help at these web sites:
California Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV)
- Senior Driver Information
- Recently updated “DMV Senior Guide for Safe Driving” booklet, with sample self-assessments
- How to report an Unsafe Driver to request a reexamination.
AARP
- Self-Rating quiz
- Completing the AARP Smart Driver Online Course may give you an auto insurance discount
- We Need to Talk free online seminar
Medicine.net
- Signs of impaired driving, strategies for safer driving, and more.
It’s important to approach this matter gently, as the independence that driving gives to all of us is so important.
Please call my office if I can help.